A Jew's View of Christmas

This is the 4th time I've published this, the previous three being on my dormant ItSeemstoMe blog.  I'm kind of proud of this one, so I'll keep posting it with a few updates each year, such as my age.

"I grew up in the 1950s in New Bedford, Mass., a second-tier East Coast city. Christmas was the biggest day of the year. School was closed. Parents had rare paid days off. There was usually snow on the ground and the abundant churches would chime carols from bell towers all day long.

Even if you were a Jewish kid and you knew this day was not designed for you, you couldn’t help but share in the excitement. My parents, who were born in Europe at a time when it was unfortunate to be both European and Jewish, were unable to conceal their own ambivalence. Our small family would drive to gentile neighborhoods admiring decorations. We once ventured all the way to Boston--in those days a two-hour drive-- where we saw live reindeer fenced in on Boston Commons beside a large illuminated plastic nativity scene.

More than once, my mother cooked a turkey on Christmas day and family would come for the day—but we never, ever admitted that the celebration had any relationship to Christmas. There were no stockings hung by our chimney with care, no bulbous piles of loot, no sweet smell of pine trees in our living room.

Christmas was a source of huge confusion for me as a boy and teenager. Perhaps it still is.

As a Jewish kid, we had Hanukkah. But the Festival of Lights, as it is called, seemed pale in the shadow of all that Christmas glitter of tinsel and bright blinking bulbs. Christmas was everywhere in the windows of homes and stores, on lawns in parks and even on rooftops. Yes, it was in the schools and no one even thought of objecting at that time.  I still wouldn't.

While he was still alive, my grandfather, a white-haired kindly old man gave me Hanukkah “gelt,” in the form of a silver dollar. A dollar was big-time money back then, but how could my grandfather ever compete with the other white-haired guy, the one in the red suit with the elves, the flying sleigh and all his well-disguised doubles in department stores?

I liked getting a gift each of the eight days of Hanukkah, even if over-half was only socks and clothing that I would have gotten anyway. But while my Christian friends had only a single day, theirs seemed to be the Perfecta jackpot, dwarfing our quantity of days with their quality of day.

In January. when we went back to Betsy B. Winslow School, I’d hear glee-filled reports of how these Christian kids had awakened Dec. 25 to entire living rooms filled with Schwinn bikes, Lionel Trains, American Flyer Wagons and Junior Builder Erector Sets. All they had done was to leave out some faith-based milk and cookies the night before.

Christmas loot was bad enough, but then there were the miracles. Theirs was the birth of God’s son on a night when animals talked. Ours was that a temple light burned for a long time. Big deal. Our most popular Hanukkah song was, “Dreydle, Dreydle, Dreydle,” which has the same melodic merit as “Row, Row, Row Your Boat.” Not quite on par with “Silent Night,” “First Noel” or even, for that matter, “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” Our Holiday food featured potato latkas, still a personal, cholesterol-soaked favorite, but we had no Mormon Tabernacle Choir, no TV special with Perry Como crooning “Ave Maria.“ We never dashed through the snow, laughing even part of the way.

But Hanukkah had one special part for a Jewish kid in that era-- latent machismo. The holiday story was about how Judah Maccabee had led a successful guerrilla war against the previously undefeated Roman Legions, making himself the central figure in the whole Hanukkah tale. Maccabee had kicked some serious Roman butt back when the Romans were the undefeated champs. It made me proud. He was our Rocky, our Joltin' Joe DiMaggio, Jackie Robinson. He wasn't no wimp as Jewish kids were often considered to be in the 50s.

I started remembering all this yesterday, while driving through the sad city of East Palo Alto (EPA). A few years back, EPA had the highest murder rate in the country--outdoing Detroit, New York City and Oakland. They say it’s a lot better now that they’ve brought in a Home Depot, Ikea and Sun Microsystems campus. But as I sat at a traffic light watching a packaged goods deal between a dude in a long coat and a kid on a bike, I saw a sign that reminded me about what I envied most about Christmas. It hung in huge, slightly lopsided, letters across University Avenue.

It said: “Peace on Earth.” There wasn’t space I guess, for the tagline, which of course is, “Good will toward men.”

Tomorrow will be my 63rd Christmas. It was a great many Christmases ago when I first heard the words, and fewer Christmas ago when I came to understand the bigness of the concept and the power of the thought. Peace on Earth is much, much bigger than Maccabee kicking Roman butt.

Not too many years ago, I met Paula who is now my wife. She loved Christmas like the kids in the old TV programs sponsored by Hallmark cards. She loved the planning, and decorating; the gifting and wrapping and opening and putting ribbons on her head; she loved the cooking and filling the house with unlikely assortments of people who somehow enjoyed each other. Her zeal put me at odds with my own deep and ambiguous feelings about the holiday. I’ve never been able to explain them to her in any way that makes sense and perhaps that’s what I’m trying to do in this particular blog.

There are now two things special about Christmas for me. The first is the big thought, dream or illusion of peace on earth and goodwill between its many inhabitants--Christians Jews, Muslims, Hindus,  atheists and even Republicans. I don’t pray, but I do hope. If you do pray for these issues, I hope they come through and I will be grateful to you.

The second is smaller and more personal. It’s about Paula and how she catches the season’s joy as if it were something contagious. Whatever the germ, I’ve caught it as I find myself looking forward to the planning, and decorating; the gifting, wrapping and opening--albeit without ribbons on my head. Monday our home will filled with unlikely assortments of people and I already know it will work out just fine.

Happy holidays, whichever you choose to observe, and may the New Year bring all of us closer to peace on Earth."

[Originally published December 24, 2003.

Comments

[Alan]

You just made my Christmas! What a wonderful and generous post.

[Sterling Camden]

A very moving post, Shel. I wish for peace as well, and wish you and Paula a happy and peaceful holiday.

One historical correction, though: Maccabee resisted the Seleucids, not the Romans. He even made an agreement with Rome that helped to call off the Seleucids, an agreement that receives some criticism in the book of Maccabees.

[Sterling Camden]

Sorry, I misspoke. The agreement with Rome didn't actually help much at all.

[Rob La Gesse]

Shel - it get's better with each reading. Thanks for sharing it again.

BTW - a typor for you, in the sentence: "Christmas loot was bad enough, but hen there were the miracles. "

Peace, brother.

Rob

[shel israel]

Thanks, Rob. I fixed the typo. may the new year bring you joy.

[Justin Thorp]

Shel, thank you for sharing in your post. It has been great fun reading your blog. I really feel like I have gotten to know you.

Enjoy the special time of year!

[Jane Genova]

Shel, I'm not Jewish but have always been ambivalent about Christmas.

Maybe it's my Eastern European genes (am only half joyful Italian) that causes this. My Polish grandparents, uncles, aunts and my cousins seemed to suffer from major depression, bipolar, probem drinking and compulsive gambling - all of which always got worse at Christmas.

The few days before Christmas and the day itself were confusing times, and that had nothing to do with our religion. On June 30th my dog Molly Mittens died and this Christmas has been more difficult than most.

I wanted to flee to a Buddha in Tibet for this holiday season but then a friend tells me that Tibet isn't Tibet any more. There are not five-star hotels for tormented souls like me.

In any event, thanks for this moving narrative. You are a very good writer.

[victor horvitz]

shel: I stumbled onto your reminiscence while googling betsy b. winslow. just fooling around this quiet june night in 2007. I enjoyed your post very much. I,also, grew up jewish on the west side of new bedford in the fifties. I remember you: you were sheldon back then. I think we were in boy scouts together (izzie eisner and emile miller etc.) did you live on plymouth street? I often look back fondly to my upbringing years as a sort of leave it to beaver existence; I was wally and my brother jimmy was the beave. mom was home and was there for us when we came back from winslow school for lunch. we would have our grilled cheese sandwich, a glass of real gulf hill milk, listen to "our gal sunday" on the radio and head back to school for the afternoon session. we lived on clinton street in my grandfather's house. he had come from russia in 1902, operated a grain store on water street, and bought the three decker we all lived in after the war. Pa was proud of his heritage; i also remember christmas as being a stressful time for us. pa did not want us participating in the christmas pagent at school and a big deal was made so we kids would know just who we were. secretly, I loved going to the auditorium to watch santa claus movies and listen to the glee glub sing silent night. but, to this day i always ignore and hide from the christmas season and I always spend christmas with asian people. Well, this was a swell trip down memory lane. thanks! best regards, vicky.

[shel israel]

My God! Vickie Horvitz, across the street from the vacant lot with the crab apple tree and kitty-angled from Cliffie Dobson and Steve Richmond, with the briefcase and the great marks in school. You had a younger brother named Jimmie if I recall. Of course I remember you. Please email me at shel@itseemstome.net so I can learn whatever happened to you.

[steven davies]

I write after half an year after you posted your story but I liked it very much:) And your wife's decorating ideas:)